Mario’s not a plumber anymore, Nintendo finally admits

Mario is no longer a plumber, according to his recently updated profile on the Japanese Nintendo page. This comes as no surprise, considering it’s been years since Mario’s really worked his supposed job.

Let’s be clear: This isn’t us calling Mario anything less than a consummate professional. As long as we’ve known him, Mario’s kept busy with a bunch of other things. He’s saved Princess Peach — nay, the entire Mushroom Kingdom — numerous times. He’s a tennis, baseball, soccer and even Olympic champion. Mario’s even done a brief stint in the professional dancing space.

But almost never have we seen Mario perform the basic duties of a plumber. There are no toilets to be fixed in the Super Mario series. There are plenty of pipes, but when have we seen Mario fix them since the original Mario Bros., where the starring pair sought to wipe some bad critters out of their pipes.

Plus, as we discovered in a recent Mario-themed stream of ours, Mario and Luigi did patch up a broken pipe in at least one more recent game: Super Mario 3D World.

Would ya look at that. Nintendo via Imgur
He’s also done some light handyman work in the Paper Mario and Mario and Luigi games — emphasis on light. But those aside, if Mario was a plumber up until now, he wasn’t a good one.

We do have to wonder how Mario has been supporting himself all these years, since the plumbing business clearly wasn’t doing it. He has a thirst for coins, for sure, and maybe the Mushroom Kingdom slips him some cash under the table. For protection. But the admission that Mario actually doesn’t really have full-time employment is a slight cause for concern.

We salute the hardworking people who avail themselves to fixing our piping systems on a daily basis. But Mario? He’s not one of them
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Thursday, 23 November 2017
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